I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
