sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize