this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
im six kinds of drunk right now
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
Randomize
