yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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