I hate all girls vehemently.
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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