okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
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