I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Randomize
