peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
