I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
