bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
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