forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
