GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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