U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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