HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
Randomize