Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
