What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Randomize
