i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Someone shit on the floor
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Randomize
