TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Randomize
