I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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