come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
Randomize
