16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Randomize
