i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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