So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
