Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
My balls are so social today.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Randomize
