She announced her abortion via fbk
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Randomize
