He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
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