i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
Randomize
