Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
I wish you could order shots online.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
