I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize