You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize