what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
I just found puke in my bra..
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
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