my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
