Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
