I think im going to throw up on grandma
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
