it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
The dick lei will go down in squad history
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
