Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
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