But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
