Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
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