Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
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