glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
i may or may not be watching the land before time
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Randomize
