He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
