What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
Randomize
