I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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