If that was your dad, he is hot
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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