Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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