I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Randomize
