YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
