Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize