I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
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