His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
Randomize
