if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
try to milk me bitch
Randomize
