so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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