i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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