What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize
