Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
