My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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