ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
no. you can't hotbox the world.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
Randomize
