we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
