is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
Randomize
