Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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