I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
