She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
