If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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