The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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