Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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