Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
Randomize
