I just pynch a tree in the face
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
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