They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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