I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
well most of my day revolves around power hour
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
